I think it's quite racist to put a party for china in a day of the bar considering that maybe not chinese people are coming. I think it's quite confusing and frustrating the way they talk to us. Let me see your skills. Im quite tired of searching for an apartment in Berlin. Im quite tired of thinking about moving again. and about bringing all of my möbel with me. Im tired of people in Germany being rude. I'm tired of falling in relationships I dont want to. I'm tired of feeling alone in this country. Today it was slow. I woke up at 9am, but I always take until 11am to actually wake up. The only good thing is that I stopped biting my nails. I'm working now at the bar, but im feeling quite tired of people exploiting other people. Of not having a business account or profile to apply for jobs or internships. Of not having a camera. I'm now saving money for my camera, slow by slow. After waking up I cooked my breakfast, and had lots of ideas for the bar. After being said that I should show my skills. As it wasnt enough everything I'm doing at the bar. I work a lot, and when I calculate I only earn 500 euros. I'm tired of having to move, I dont want to move anymore. I'm tired of putting my things in a car and having to adapt to a new place. Anyways. Bimm is also a joke, but we all accepted it. I gave everything I could for my career, and believed in myself. But I've seen how tired I am. Now im with a man that says he cares for me, but I dont really feel it. He likes to fuck me, it's clear. He likes my boobs and my ass. And says he cares so much for me. He doesnt care I lost my classes, or anything. and this annoys me. Today I did grocerie and met Lisa in the supermarket. My dad only knows how to tell me how irresponsible I am. And im tired. I really wanted to bring my mom before moving out of here. I wanted to see her. or go back, idk. I wanted to get therapy... I wanted a lot. I wanted to be respected at work... It's okay though. I will make it. somehow. today I also slept at 6pm which is the time I usually start getting super tired. Idk. Lets see. I still feel super lonely here.