how can you even tell me you love me, if you dont even care about me? 

22nd of September 2025 

Im back home. Back to Porto Alegre. And it just feels so good to be here. To eat the food, to see my family, be around nice people. To be back home after so long. Some things are weird. I dont speak to David since a week. In fact we havent talked since I came here... He is so weak. I met this one German guy, he is 20 years old. He is nice and I practice German with him. He invited me to the embassy event. Today I also had an interview for a job in Goethe. For almost 4k real per month. It's hard, to leave berlin. But I just didnt feel good there. 

David said he always loved me. Insisted in beginning this. But he wanted comfort. He doesnt know how to deal with real feelings. another guy like the others. 

 "I would never have anything to do with someone that treated you so badly"

oh, honey, u did much much much worse

you have no balls

and thats why you will end up unhappy...

wait a second, stop talking to him

give time, he will replace u 

just wait

and you will be much happier, with your dreams, your degrees, your house

wait...

this guy has no balls 

and he cant even be nice

he was being so nice because u were making his pain less by being there

just wait a sec to see how things will change